Looking back over the past year or so.. alot of shit has happend..im at one of those points where i just want to explode.. i was reading some of my old entrys and i didnt used to be the bitch that i am now.. idk if its because i let people walk all over me and im at the point where i dont care anymore, or if its because of a person i recently started hanging out with, i really dont know,......... if i just would have listend to my own advice, in one of my posts at the begining of december i was talking about not taking any of my friends for granted because they could just not be there anymore for various reasons..i lost jami, not completly shes still there on occasion but not like she used to be, and then on january 1st, we all lost stephen, that was the worst day of my life.. and i did take both of them for granted, the funny thing is.. i think it was stephen that told me not to take anyone for granded, but the fact that no matter what i did stephen was always there for me is the worst blow of all! i always said that i wouldnt take anyone for granted again, but i did.. and right now when i need someone to talk to the most.. i really need stephen, because once again.. i did what i said id never do.. and now im stuck here wondering what to do about it, i just wish i could talk to stephen.. sure i can talk to him but there isnt a concrete response i can guess what he would have said and i know that he's always there to talk to, but not like he used to be..everyone says that they are gunna be there no matter what.. but they aren't none of them are, they were supose to be there to support me, it just goes to show that you can't always rely on someone no matter how close you thought you were, they only one that is always really going to be there for me is stephen... Broken Wake up to a sunny day
not a cloud up in the sky,
then it starts to rain
My defenses hit the ground, And they shatter all around.
So open and exposed.
I found strength in the struggle. Face to face with my trouble.
When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. Don't you stop believing in your self. When you're broken.
Little girl don't be so blue, I know what you're goin through. Don't let it beat you up. Heaven knows that getting scars only makes you who you are...only makes you who you are.
No matter how much your heart is aching, there is beauty in the breaking
When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. Don't you stop believing in yourself. When you're broken.
Better days are gonna find you once again every piece will find its place!
When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin but you cant hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. don't you stop believin in your self When you're broken.
LIFE As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supose to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take to many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt. Because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid your life will end, be afraid it will never begin. | 
